Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Don't hate me for being beautiful

Chirpers, Mavis here. We at We Chirp are many things, but close-minded is not one of them. Opinionated? Very. Brunette? Yep. Super dang smart? You betcha. Always willing to learn something new? Affirmative. We are lovers of others' points of view. We love to hear and take part in thought provoking conversations. Our (well, Dove's. But Hi PagerStalker, I'm Mavis - heard great things about you, can we be friends?) friend PagerStalker has written something so thought provoking that we had to share it.

Dove was a little worried that it might offend some of our readers but I assured her (and she knows) that we are a smart and deep bunch. Without giving my own opinion about this topic of which you are about to read
(because you might be surprised and you will hear it soon), I ask that you read it, ponder it, mull it over or go right ahead and respond. But no matter what you think, we would love to hear it. Of course, we love it even more when it is done with respect and decorum. Since I read PS's essay a few days ago, it has made me think things over, rethink previous opinions, form stronger ones and had me befuddled for a moment.

One more thing before you begin,
PS is a medical doctor, but he is not a plastic surgeon. He does not benefit from pushing more silicon or slicing and sucking. Oh, and he is not a chauvinistic jerk. This you should know as you read. Here goes...

So what I say may be a little offensive, or maybe not offensive, but certainly disagreeable. I would like to talk about beauty and sexual attraction for a moment. But let’s start with this concept:

Let’s say you have a child that is born with a cleft lip. A cleft lip does not really affect a person’s functionally (unlike a cleft palate which certainly does affect function.) So to fix this defect is clearly just cosmetic. However, all of you would not think it too vain to fix. For one, the child will suffer from being an object of ridicule – no doubt and will develop self-esteem problems. But what of the argument that he should just learn to love himself, just the way God, or the Great IS (a Jonathon Livingston Seagull reference – how cool am I) created him? Well, what if he was in a foreign land and came to this country as an adult – so no more children teasing? Would you allow him, or fault him to get it fixed then?

Now let’s change the scenario. Let’s say that you have a few kids. Having a large uterus stretches out the rectus sheath so that what once could have been a washboard tight stomach is now two inches apart - and that’s just the lateral stretch. You also get the vertical stretch that leaves extra skin and marks up the once smooth and silky tummy with stretch marks and an extra pouch. And here is the deal – no amount of running and/or sit-ups can change it.
Your breasts get filled with life-giving milk, and then, after stretching the supporting ligaments, the milk leaves – and after a few rounds of children, they become just a shell of what they once were. No bench pressing or whatever can restructure that stretched tissue.

So what is my point? Many people have a real problem with plastic surgery. They find it vain. I don’t. I think it very useful. Tell me seriously – what is the difference between the cleft lip person who wants to look normal, and the mom who wants to again look normal? We know what looks good on a face – and that is a complete lip. We also know what looks optimal on women – it is normal looking (full and perky– not big – I am NOT saying that) breasts and a flat stomach. Now I already know what some of you are thinking – you are saying that what I am calling good looking or pleasing is what society has told us what women need to look like - and that it is ridiculous and women should be able to look however they want and not by what society claims. Well, I have two things to say to that. First, I do agree that you can look like however you want and that is great to be totally comfortable with how you look and are. But I have NEVER met anyone that would take being 400 lbs over having a trim body if someone could wave a magic wand. They just wouldn’t. Second, I disagree COMPLETELY that it is what society says that looks good. It has nothing to do with society. It is complete physiology.

Take for example any animal in the kingdom of mammals. They each have characteristics that attract the opposite sex. The peacock that shows the most colorful and large array of feathers attracts the opposite sex peacock.

They aren’t thinking about it - they can’t convince themselves that this peacock is a good mom, or that they are really kind – because it is all chemicals. Well humans have those same drives and chemicals, and what most men are attracted to are perky boobs, small waist, and child bearing hips. Now I know there are exceptions, and I am also not saying that a man or woman can’t love someone that is 400 lbs.

They certainly can, and they certainly can get past this and not have it bother them. Humans do have this capability.

But what I AM saying is that every man would be more sexually attracted to his woman if she had those secondary sexual characteristics and body shape that God, or the Great IS intended (the same goes for men having an attractive physique as well). So, isn’t it strange to think that plastic surgery (to make the women a step closer to what is the perfect form) is wrong or vain? I just don’t get it. Further more, I have met MANY women who have had work done, and not a single one of them regret it. In fact, they all feel better about themselves and feel more attractive. How can that be a bad thing? Everyone wants to feel more attractive.

But here is the sad thing. My brother told me a story about an old friend of his that was a big tub of goo. He was still a funny and nice guy, but he had just changed from the stunning tan and buff guy that existed in high school. He later got a divorce despite his deep love for his wife and my brother saw him again about 6 or 8 months after the divorce. My bro made a comment like – oh my you look so great. And he said to him “I knew that I could never get a girl by looking the way I did, so I got in shape again.” When I heard this, I thought that this statement was very sad. I didn’t understand why he would get himself looking GREAT for someone he didn’t know or really care about, but he wouldn’t do the same for the person he cared about more than anyone else in this world.

So really, what is my point? My point is this. Everywhere I turn, it seems like someone is getting a divorce, or just went through a divorce, or is telling me about their problematic marriage, or whatever. I know marriage is complicated and at times attractiveness has little to do with it – but maybe sometimes it does have a little to do with it. I do know in some cases that it made a huge difference when the woman is not attracted to her man because he is a lardo (for example.) But here is the bottom line, I think if you really love your partner, you should want to please him in every way, and that means looking as good as you can – and sometimes that would include plastic surgery and I don’t think that is shameful or wrong at all. I know a great couple and they get up very early every morning and go to the gym together so that they will look good for one another. I just love that they do that.

But, if you don’t want to get sliced with the surgeon knife, then that is okay too, there are still a lot of other things you can do. And here is the truth about that--I think we learned a ton this last year hearing about Michael Phelp’s diet. He ate 12,000 calories a day, and looked rock solid. And it was crappy, crappy food. So what is the message? It matters very little what we eat, but matters a LOT what we DOOOOO. So do more. Park far away and walk fast to Wal-Mart or even run. Take the stairs all the time. Get on your bike. Run with the dog rather than walk. My brother in-law once lost a TON of weight by riding a bike everywhere he went along with lifting weights. The pay off is that not only will your friend/lover/domestic partner like the way you look; you will love the way you feel.

My new friend DOVE runs almost every morning. That is so very commendable and cool – and hard. Good job Dove!

So if you do get plastic surgery – I have some tips.
1. If you get a tummy tuck – make sure the surgeon combines the tuck with some side and flank lipo. This is very important in the final look of things. If you watch Dr. 90210, that fruitcake does not do this.
2. If you do get a tummy tuck, strongly consider getting the breast implants. It is a little more, but I have met many that regret not doing this at the same time as the tuck. It really adds to the look.
3. If you do get breast implants, look for a surgeon that does under the muscle. This leaves a much more natural look and feel. Plus they last much longer and stay looking normal much longer. In fact, they may never need revised, unlike over the muscle implants. Over the muscle implants eventually will stretch the skin and tissue, which will need a breast lift and revision eventually. Surgeons will often try to convince you otherwise because below the muscle takes more time and requires more skill. More time to do the surgery means less money for the surgeon. Plus, many never learned this better technique well.
4. Please don’t go BIG. At least in my taste, that looks ridiculous and fake. We are going for the perfect body, not the ridiculous “I work at HOOTERS” body. Gross.

Finally, I think you should feel lucky that physiology for humans is the way it is. It could be much worse. Did you know that to attract a female goat, the male goat would urinate on his head for the smell? See, aren’t we lucky?



Christy said...

Wow. You know me (virtually) by now - you probably know that I say what I think and I don't lie. So I won't right now. I feel sick to my stomach after reading this post a couple of times.

I am so disappointed in so many ways. But we (your readers and contributors) are thinkers and do welcome discussion, offensive as we may or may not find this particular post. But I have to admit that I'm disappointed that this clearly isn't a joke, though I sincerely wish it was. why hasn't his blog been linked to? Is he a coward? is clearly writing to his female readers only. Why not discuss tummy-tucks for men?

In his fourth point why does he state "we are going for the perfect body" - really? Who is we? In his second bullet, he suggests strongly getting breast implants - when he was 'only' discussing a tummy tuck. Huh? Because the boobs are above the stomach you should automatically consider getting another massive procedure done? Just because you assume 'she' is not happy with her current rack?

I have a very good friend who did get the under muscle implants, and she does regret it. I find it hard to believe that he apparently knows so many women who have gone under the knife and not a single one regrets it. Maybe they just don't regret it YET. Maybe after getting update surgeries every ten years for the rest of their lives, then they'll regret it.

My friend who regrets it had had to go back for corrective surgery a few months after the original surgery, as one of them didn't take. And then a year later another surgery. Why not discuss those risks? They're very real. Why not discuss the very real risks associated with ANY kind of surgery - much less elective cosmetic surgery?

This sentence particularly galls me: "But what I AM saying is that every man would be more sexually attracted to his woman if she had those secondary sexual characteristics and body shape that God, or the Great IS intended (the same goes for men having an attractive physique as well)" - again, huh? Why not state women would be attracted to her man....etc....too?

This one really bothers me too: "We also know what looks optimal on women – it is normal looking (full and perky– not big – I am NOT saying that) breasts and a flat stomach." Dear god where is this guy coming up with this stuff? Maybe in a perfect world all women have flat stomachs. But I for one know plenty of women who have never had a flat stomach, even at their most fit. Some tummies are a bit round. And that's perfectly okay.

Also, this statement is just complete untrue: "It has nothing to do with society. It is complete physiology." I have a hard time believing that a person who is smart enough to graduate from medical school believes this statement. I believe it has something to do with physiology, but the media perpuates this myth of the perfect female body. Models admit that they look nothing like themselves in the pages of magazines. Photoshop, people, photoshop. NOT real bodies. Not ideal, not real.

And finally, the Michael Phelps food intake info? Well, he was burning more calories than he was taking in. So yes, obviously, exercise is important. We all know that. But so is food intake. We ARE what we eat, after all.

Why does the writer only discuss hypothetical perfect bodies and then those that weigh 400 pounds. Aren't the majority of women (and men) in a more middle-ground weight? Isn't the average women something like a size 12. Not nearly as small as the average woman shown on tv, but not 400 pounds either. I am all for physical fitness, I am. I have not been in great shape for a few years, but I'm back on track with a routine and I feel better. But that's neither here nor there.

Christy said...

I still love Mavis and Dove, but I do not love the extremely biased, chauvinistic, irresponsible point of view expressed by this author who chooses not to link his own blog. I hope I've presented my views with the respect and decorum I've intended to. I'm not boycotting this blog or anything drastic like that - just have to say what I think, is all.

Okay, I've dished my opinion, now I'm ready to take it.

Pieces of Us said...

While I do find some of PageStalker's comments irritating and demeaning, I do agree that there is not one thing wrong with plastic surgery--AS LONG AS YOU DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

I had a baby 1 year ago and have breastfed the entire year. After I feed my baby and I am 'empty' I get an idea of what I am going to look like when I am completely done breastfeeding. Not a pretty sight. Luckily I didn't get any stretch marks so I don't have that problem, but this was only my first baby/pregnancy.

I've already told my husband that when we're done having kids I WILL get a boob job and a tummy tuck if it's needed. I may sound vain or whatever but it is what it is. I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking in the mirror at myself and being disgusted with what I see.

Yes the saggy boobs, stretch marks, etc are all reminders of what I went through and the sacrifice I made for my kids but why do I need to display that to the rest of the world? Besides, I figure I have/will sacrifice{d} so much for them I deserve to do something for me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that every single woman who has had a baby has to get plastic surgery. If you are happy with your body the way it is {stretch marks and all} then live it up! But, me personally, I will do what it takes to feel comfortable and be happy with what I see. {plus who doesn't want to feel hot and sexy as they age?}

marissa said...

hmmm I'm all for looking good for your partner and fixing things that are wrong. But there really is something to say about being healthy and not submitting the the fake media ideals of womanhood. I guess if you feel like you need to get back to your normal that's one thing but I'm worried that we're just forgetting that people change as they age and experience life and that each of those stages is beautiful in their own way. I personally don't want to feel pressure to look 18 when I'm 60, but that may just be me.

PagerStalker said...


You make same GREAT Points, and most likely I am wrong about most things I said - I'm rarely correct anyway. (But that point about the goat is true - i promise.) But I would like to make just a few follow up remarks if that is okay. First of all, I am most likely a coward - this may be correct. I'm not very strong and people scare me. Second, and this is clearly true, I am not very smart. I worked as an engineer at AMI in Pocatello once and thought "these people (engineers) are WAY to smart for me" so I left to go to medical school.

Third - I want to address how you said I didn't talk about males, etc. Like I said, good point. However, I DO NOT believe in doing a surgical correction for something a person can do themselves. Guys have not had the wonderful pleasure of bearing a child in the womb and having engorged milk-filled breast. Most likely, every guy can get a washboard stomach on their own if they work hard enough.

Let me say one more thing, but first let me set up what I am going to say. I am a religous person and believe that God continually inspires people to progress toward him and his way of doing things. For example, I am always amazed that I can talk to my sister in Virginia with a little piece of metal in my hand. I say hello and instantly she hears my voice across the globe. Cell phones are long ways away from scratching communication on paper or metal, but it probably is a long ways from the way God communicates, but he will continue to inspire us to progress toward his method - the perfect communication method. This works in all aspects of life, including medical science. We are getting better at healing the body all the time. In the last few years, we discovered a protein that when targeted with a drug, completely kills all the person's CML (a blood cancer) cells. Amazing really. Let me then say that I also believe in something called the resurrection - which is a belief that one day, after I die, I will be reunited with a body - a perfect body - one that God views as perfect. Now I know NOTHING about that process. I don't know if God will say, do you want deeper set eyes? Or would you like longer legs? I have no idea. But I would ask you to seriously ponder this question. If you had the opportunity to be "resurrected" and have someone say, "how would you like your stomach to be?" How would you make it? If you wouldn't change a thing about you, I think that is absolutely wonderful. By my point was simply this - if you would say "I would like to get rid of this pouch and these stretch marks, and make my breast not so flabby" - then what is wrong with medical science - which has the technology to do that - to do that now if you are unable to do it yourself? I don't think it vain at all, and I don't think that if some choose not to do it, that they should harbor ill feelings for those that have chosen to do it. I'm not quite sure why that point of view is irresponsible, but like I said, I am often misguided. Sorry I get no love from you Christy - I like your posts though.

Pieces of Us - I don't think it is vain at all. Isn't it strange that people say that though? I just find it perplexing - thus the reason I wanted to post.

Christy said...

What I think is irresponsible is how flippantly you seem to deem elective cosmetic surgery. There are serious risks involved. Since you are a medical doctor, I think you should feel compelled to mention them any time you discuss or try to persuade women to consider cosmetic surgery. Or adding on an extra procedure such as a boob lift to a tummy tuck!

And for what it's worth - I totally agree with Pieces. Elective cosmetic surgery is fine - for you (collective you)- as long as you are doing it for your own reasons - not for anyone else. Including your spouse. I seriously don't judge people like that. I have a problem with getting surgery to please some one else, even your spouse...but anyway, my opinion that I wouldn't do it to myself is neither here nor there - it's your body, your choice. I don't think it's vain...and I too certainly hope we aren't expected to look like teenagers in our middle and old age.

At least you (page stalker) have a sense of humor. I believe the goat info. I also know that doctors are smart. My brother is one. My uncle is...you get the picture. And my husband has a phd in molecular biology and is working on curing cancer too. Every day. So I get it. And I get the self deprecation...

Okay - I get the perfect body reference. I had always assumed perfect in that sense meant healthy, disease-free. Not a bunch a perfect 10s walking around heaven. But who knows - could be...

And with that, I'm off my soap box now.

Anonymous said...

" Let’s say you have a child that is born with a cleft lip. A cleft lip does not really affect a person’s functionally (unlike a cleft palate which certainly does affect function.) So to fix this defect is clearly just cosmetic."

are you serious? and you are an MD? a cleft lip TOTALLY affects functionality - i.e. an infant's ability to suck and get nutrition. Infants DIE because they are born with cleft lips and are unable to get the nutrition they need to thrive.

Anonymous said...

I found this mildly offensive and sexist. Look good for your partner? Yes, amen!! Strive, work hard, be your best! Don't just do it for them, do it for you! But, breast AUGMENTATION is a much different undertaking than correcting a cleft lip, or getting a tummy tuck (if you have enough excess skin around your mid section it can be unhealthy). Besides, am I missing something, are we all going to start walking around topless sometime soon? If you are a little saggy, get a good bra!

Through the Looking Glass said...

Ah, this is fun.

I was not remotely offended by pagestalker. Truthfully, I've always found his comments on this blog to be pretty witty and interesting and I was shocked to discover she was a "he". Sexist little me.

Let me preface what I'm going to say with this: There is not one ounce of me that I don't consider a feminist, if being a feminist means I am entitled and encouraged to make my own decisions, reach whatever goals I may have for myself, and consider myself as smart, talented and capable as any other woman or man. That said, I pretty much agree with what pagestalker said, and this is why:

I'm 32 and have had four children, nursing all. I fully intend to get a breast lift and implants some day, and if I play my financial cards right, I may consider a tummy tuck. Oh, and a nose job, since I was hit with a tennis racket at 14, blacked out, and awakened with black eyes and a bump on my nose the size of a marble. I have not one feminist reserve about any of these decisions.

Unfortunately, my husband would agree that I'm not a tremendously sexual person. Something happened once I had kids and I swear that switch just shut off. I like to be kissed, hugged, snuggled - and sure, once into it, sex is like the gym: Hard to get motivated to do it but you feel good once you're there - after, you're really glad you went. This is to say that I don't walk around oozing sexuality. I don't care if men in the store notice me, admire my body, covet my breasts. Frankly I'd be shocked if one did.

But I feel that I made some major sacrifices when I had kids, the most obvious of which is my body. Though I'm slim and don't really carry extra weight, and I exercise every day and eat well, my breasts are completely deflated, completely devoid of substance. What I thought was bad after child 1 is now sort of unbelievable. They have aged twenty years beyond me, and that pisses me off. And my stomach? Sure, I crunch, watch carbs, run, you name it. But the baggy skin and fat pooch around my middle won't budge. That, too, pisses me off.

So yes, I feel entitled. If I can afford it, and if I'm doing it because I think at 32 I'm too young to worry that men AND women are staring at my silly breasts when I'm in my swimsuit, I see nothing wrong with that. I've often compared plastic surgery to make up, hair color, jewelry, push up bras - the whole lot. All are created to beautify, to enhance, to make more "womanly". Don't tell me they're not about sexy, because why on earth do all of us have a push up bra in our drawer? If we were abject to sexuality, we wouldn't care in which direction our breasts pointed. We'd wear sports bras - they're compressing and comfy.

People object to plastic surgery, especially breasts and tummies, because they are more overtly sexual parts of our bodies. But once upon a time, a woman's neck was consider scandalous, as were her ankles. We wear clothes that show both and think nothing of pleasing men. It's our perceptions of beauty and female form that dictate our clothing, and I see nothing wrong with letting them dictate our body shape. Certainly surgery is more intrusive and dangerous, but I think we're all smart enough women to decide for ourselves if the calculated risk is worth it. To some it is, as is Botox, Restalyne, dying our eyelashes, and wearing high heels - very bad for the ankles.

To each her own - the ultimate form of feminism. And pagestalker, I say link away. I need a good doc referral.

we chirp said...

Just a clarification:
PS does not have a blog. He is a reader of blogs (maybe just ours, I don't know). FYI

Leslie said...

So very entertaining. I will keep this short. Loved "Through the Looking Glass" comments. I think I see things through her perspective, so I will leave my views at that. I might also add that I am not against cosmetic surgery. :) But hey, my father-in-law is a plastic surgeon, so it would be far too ridiculous to shun his line work! I also want to know where PS's post or email came from if he doesn't have a blog...

Dallin & Ashley said...

Once upon a time, I might have been offended by this post. But now, I am totally ok with it. I didn't really find anything too offensive in it.
I don't have the perfect body, never have in fact, and I haven't even had kids yet! I'm very small-chested and I know once I start having kids my boobs will be in sad sad shape (no pun intended). Thank goodness for the medical marvels of plastic surgery. I am all about making your body look its best, because, let's be honest, when you look good, you feel good, and then you will want to continue looking good so you can continue feeling good. I think that if you do all you can with diet and exercise and you are still not where you want to be, in regards to your shape, then heck, get plastic surgery! I won't judge you for it, that's for sure. But if you are ok with your body than more power to you. I have a deep respect for you. And PS, you keep on keepin on. I enjoyed your guest post.

Mitch and Lacey said...

My opinion is this: plastic surgery should be the last resort. If a person has honestly tried dieting and exercising and is still not pleased with his or her body then they should look into surgery. I just hate to see surgery be the first and only conclusion; it should be the last resort after they've tried everything else. If you don't take care of your body in all areas (eating healthy, exercise, etc.) you'll still be unhappy even if you have perky boobs and a flat stomach. So, I think surgery should be done after all other healthy options are exhausted and surgery should be complemented with the healthy options as well.

The Begleys said...

oh the conversations taking place at our house (and it continues over text messages while my husband is at a work dinner). Fun post and comments. Always a good topic for the soul.

Dove said...

Wow, neither Mavis or I have had one second to sit down & respond to this, but now the commentary has gone every which direction. It's been fun to read them trickle in all day long.

Okay, here's what I want all the world to know. PS, as we have affectionately named him, is a good friend. He is a wonderful man and despite what you might think is like the polar opposite of a chauvinist. Seriously. Some of his points got missed, but as he and I have had this discussion, he always repeats that he just wants people to be comfortable with themselves and if they need surgery to get them there then WHY NOT?! While I don't think plastic surgery is, or ever will be for me, I think he has some great points that have opened up my mind.

I wish I had time to respond to each point in each comment individually. I have so many thoughts that this has spurred, but I will create an entire post out of them soon. Perhaps next week.

Thank you thank you for the well thought out and well stated comments. And also for your tact in this controversial topic.

Miss(Michelle) said...

Not bothered by what he said...but also not inspired to do it.
After 5 kids in 8 years...things aren't where they use to be...and they aren't suppose to.
I have had many friends who went under the knife to fix boobs, nose, tummy, weight(bypass), more boobs, and more boobs. I find that those friends feel great initally and then the same old things creep into their thoughts again. So their big boobs and flat tummys made them happy for a while but within time they found something else to fixate negatively on. And the cycle begins again...looking for the next thing to make them feel better about themselves.
I have been jogging 20 miles a week and no flat tummy has appeared...and I just said who cares...my hubby is still so in love and attracted to me (maybe way too much for my taste sometimes). My kids don't care if I have "long boobs" as my 7 year old so affectionatley told me one time.
Go spend your money on something more worthwhile and help change someone elses life instead of your own.

pagerstalker said...

"a cleft lip TOTALLY affects functionality - i.e. an infant's ability to suck and get nutrition. Infants DIE because they are born with cleft lips and are unable to get the nutrition they need to thrive."

Anonymous #1,

Are you sure? Are you REALLY sure? When you start to look up the information on the internet (which you should of course), make sure you separate cleft palate from a pure cleft lip. They are very different. Often times (and I think most of the time) a cleft palate comes with a cleft lip. But I have already revealed too much - I would hate to deprive you of the opportunity to learn this stuff on your own. We learn so much better when we have to work for it. :)

Miss(Michele) - loved your comments. I love the idea of changing someone's life instead of your own. That is the basis of less mental health problems and true happiness.

You started out saying that I didn't convince you to get plastic surgery. That's great and I hope that isn't the message that people are getting - that I am trying to convince all the women in the world to get fakies. That isn't my point at all.

suzan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
suzan said...

I am not at all offended.
My opinion is pretty simple and has already been expressed by several other people here. To each his or her own. If getting plastic sugery will make a person feel more confident and bring them more happiness then do it! But only do it because YOU want to do it. I don't believe anyone should do it because it will satisfy their partner. Confidence is sexy and if you are feeling good about yourself (with or without surgery) then you will be more attractive to others.

Michelle Pilar said...

i agree with through the looking glass, and mitch and lacey. well put. I don't think it was offensive at all. And many things he said are so true. Looking your best helps the marriage so much.. on both ends. So once you do all you can to get there through diet and excersise, then surgery is fine! the stretch marks and saggy boobs after having 2 kids (by age 20) is not fun! No matter what i do those things will never go away. So i do want to have surgery sometime later in my life if I still can't stand it.
I dont think he was offending at all.. he was just speakin the truth which some women dont wanna hear .. thinking its wrong to say these things.. but its just reality. just my opinion

Rachel said...

I think it is so funny how women get so worked up over things like this. I have had 4 children. and let me tell you- if I could have my skin fixed on my stomach I would do it in a heart beat. I miss my old body- and I do NOT consider my stretch marks and sagging skin a "badge of motherhood".
I think women need to calm down and retract their claws. It is a very personal decision to have any type of plastic surgery. I say, Do what makes YOU feel good. Screw everybody else.

Amie said...

I would like to commend pagestalker for the honesty of this blog. As a athlete, I struggled with the decision to have implants for years. I had worked out almost daily for 15 years before I decided to make the jump. I finally realized that there was no workout I could do that increased breast size... My abs could be rock hard but the skin has been stretched to a point of no return in 2 pregnancies.
The key for me personally is that I have always been very aware of my breast size and post pregnancy tummy. This awareness affects your interest and confidence sexually and can damage your whole person. I found that the changes induced by breast implants increased my confidence 10 fold, which improved my attractiveness. The physical change was very small, the improvement in my confidence level was huge.
Thank you pagestalker for speaking the truth.

Sandi said...

Wow...holy crap! that was good.
It really hit home with me because I have a few body issues from losing over 100 lbs and having 2 enormous kids (both around 9 lbs at birth).
I would agree with the reasons for plastic surgery. It is a personal decision. A lot of things can be "hidden" from public view or "enhanced" (wearing a great bra for those saggy boobs). Some things are really just there and you/your partner will just have to accept that no one is perfect. Some things are just a part of the aging process.
There is a point when sexual attraction is really focused on outward appearance. But, I truly believe that you fall in the love with the person on the inside...all that other stuff is just stuff. If it becomes a big issue...fix it. Otherwise, just be yourself.