easy breezy BEAUTIFUL

Dove here. This is my follow up to the now mildly infamous post by PagerStalker last week. I have loved the discussion his post sparked and it seems that whether readers agree with PS or not, his ideas have made all of us think, him included. He really liked and agreed with many of your arguments against him. His purpose really wasn't to persuade anyone or win any fights, rather to give you something to think about. That is one of the things that I hope this blog does is expand our minds (along with offering some occasional extreme shallowness).

So many great points on both sides. In the end I hope we all have an increased tolerance for differing viewpoints. I know I do. This discussion has rekindled in me some ideas about beauty that at one time were on the forefront of my mind. I used to teach anthropology at at university. Oh man, that was fun. Well, I learned some things through that experience that were fascinating. Bear with me while I bust out some anthro wisdom here.

To those who disputed PS's claim that what we are attracted to is biological, I've got news for you. There actually IS a strong biological component to attraction. For instance, all the stereotypical things men are attracted to in women (breasts, curves, full lips, nice hair, youth etc) happen to be indicators that a woman has an abundance of estrogen, which is an indicator of reproductive fitness. Evolutionarily speaking, beauty helps men identify women who will bear them large numbers of children and be able to take care of the children after birth, hence ensuring a perpetuation of the male's genes. (However, thanks to modern science, one can easily attain any of these features with enough money.)

Now, this doesn't mean that society doesn't have an influence on us. Certainly it does. PS and I discussed a fascinating social experiment wherein we travel to remote civilizations (or is this just a good excuse to act on my incurable case of wanderlust?) and show their inhabitants pictures of several women and see which women they select as beautiful. Would those nomadic Mongolians choose Pamela Anderson? Well, she's an extreme example and I would venture to guess that someone who hasn't been exposed to American culture would find her repulsive in her completely unnatural extremities.

Would they be more likely to find someone who was more in the range of what is typical for women?

This begs a different question that frequently tumbles around the cavity of my mind. What is beauty? Why is it defined so differently from culture to culture? Take for instance the neck rings women in Thailand wear...

Why in the world is this considered attractive?? Interestingly, these brass coils don't actually stretch the neck as many believe, they deform the collarbones by pushing them down. Click here to see video of how they do this.

Another seemingly nutty concept of beauty is small feet. You may have seen this in your inbox, I've received it a number of times.

See how her toes are bent around to the bottom of her foot.

Now, I wish my feet were more dainty for sure, but this seems a bit ridiculous.

UNTIL...

You think about how the people in these other cultures might possibly think we are a little off our rockers in our ideas of beauty. Women are scrambling to have Botox (botulism...poison) injected in their faces to make them look younger. (And for the record, it sounds dangerous and scary, but in reality it's very safe.)

Sandblasting our faces (microderm abrasion), willingly inviting deadly melanoma into our lives (tanning beds), burning our hair follicles (laser hair removal), surgically placing silicon bags under the muscle in our chests to make it appear that we are uber-estrogenish. I think we are just as nutty, it just doesn't seem as bizarre to us because it is what we know. The Thai women with the neck rings don't see their traditions as barbaric either.

In the end, aren't we all just trying to display the fanciest feathers to attract the fanciest peacock? Isn't it all about mating rituals?

Well, I'll tell you what. I LOVE Mavis's post yesterday and that she is trying to implement more  shine in her marriage. When I was a little chickidee, my dad used to sit down with my sister and I and have these very serious talks with us. He would tell us that we would likely grow up to be lovely women, but that that was a gift and had NOTHING to do with us. Pure genetics. Then he would tell us to make sure that we are beautiful on the inside and treat others beautifully.

Werd to yer muther.

Whether we are pro-plastic or not, there is room for all of us in this world. I, personally, am okay with my imperfections. My body is not perfect and never will be. I think it would be a pretty boring world if we all had the means to have ourselves cosmetically sculpted to resemble some arbitrary ideal. It would be like driving through that Edward Scizzorhands neighborhood. Laaaaaame. BUT, because I'm working on my inner beauty, you can bet that I will be able to love someone with falsies or someone with a few hundy pounds to spare.

And this is the end, my only friend the end (that was to annoy all you Doors haters).

Love, Dove (what a cute ring that has)

Tomorrow is the last day to enter the Miss Ruby Sue giveaway found here.

Eye of the beholder?

Let me tell you right now, this post is all over the place. You are forewarned.

Ah, plastic surgery. I used to say "I'd never". Now I say, "I can see why". To an extent. I have spent the majority of my youth (pre kids) being within normal range in weight. I have never had large boobs (with the exception being pregnancy and nursing - and I was never too impressed), in fact was teased for having nothing on top. But I like it. Embrace it. It fits my shape (or lack there of). And I have never been a Buns of Steel kind of gal but I do a good job of eating well and being in relatively good shape. But even in my prime, I never had a tush like Audrina, of Hill's fame. I always had saddle-y baggage (but I would love to have that 20 year old backside that I shunned back compared to what I have now!).

I am now 32. Having fluctuated by 60-75 lbs three separate times in 5 years has not done me any favors. Nursing three hungry babies has contributed. And while I am back down to pre-children weight, I will never have a taut tush. Gravity has taken its toll and the saddle bags are blending with the seat. I don't know if my stomach will ever be rockin' like it once was and I marvel that my boobs can be so small and yet be flabby and empty. I want my perky back. The problem? I don't want size, just my old friends, where they used to sit and I want them to point the same direction without me manually correcting them. Although I have no plans for surgery, I cannot honestly rule it out. And although I will be the one to decide and my husband somehow is still wildly attracted to me, he would not deter me from adding some trinkets to the top shelf, if you know what I mean. And if I wanted to reshape the backside because it would make me feel better about myself, he would not be disgruntled.

Back to the plastic. Would the post have had a different effect/reaction on/from you if it had been written by a woman? I mean, PS did focus on women and the parts of us that are widely sexualized by both genders. He brought up some interesting points. I could be wrong but I don't think that PS ever said that if you are heavy or flabby bypass healthy options like eating well and exercising and head straight to the nearest doc. I am all for people being comfortable with their bodies. But I also think that if they have something they would like to "improve" with surgery when all else has failed or there is no hope of your ideal shape returning, more power to you. And, duh, it should be a personal choice, done for yourself but frankly, if you are doing something to make you look better aren't you going to feel better and feel sexy? What is wrong with that? And although we all have different types we are attracted to, you have to admit that a great personality can only get a possible suitor so far. You have to be to physically attracted to someone, even a little bit, for a long-lasting relationship to happen. And yes, after a while, it all kind of melds together - the physical and the mental relationship - but repulsion or indifference does not a merry couple make.

And let me say this now. I'm ok with plastic surgery for anyone who wants it. It does scare me when you have those that do it to fit the mold that they feel society has pressured them in to. Or do it for some sort of attention or to feel accepted. And I think that is what some of you readers were referring to. Then there are those who have become addicted to it. Who is that woman who has over 50 surgeries? The human Barbie doll. Pamela Anderson. Michael Jackson. Carrot Top. Not ok with me.

And do we have a double standard? I have a friend who is a size 2 or less and had size quintupled D sized bazoombas. I say had because she had them reduced. Not because they were hurting her but because she was self-conscience of her appearance. Not one of her friends tsk tsked her or thought she was vain but isn't it the exact same thing as being self-conscience of your appearance when you feel your chest is lacking? And then enhancing them? And even though a reduction (or at least hers at the time) did not leave her boobs looking beautiful sans clothing(scarring), she was more confident in her appearance and it showed in how she acted. Good for her.

Then there is my friend who had a nose job when she was 20. Those who knew her then said that they could barely tell the difference between the old nose and the new nose, but she felt better about it.

And what about men who decide to have lipo? Or pec implants? Or those calf implants that Dove loves? Society would probably raise an eye to such stuff but not the kind of scrutiny that women receive (from both sexes!) when they choose plastic surgery. And studies show men are quickly becoming front runners in plastic surgery procedures. But mostly we judge the women. We are all guilty of it.

And so what if it is vain. Would you buy the pair of jeans that make you look like you have mom butt over the pair that compliments your derriere? Do you wear makeup? Even lip gloss? Have you ever had your hair colored? Have you ever picked the insanely uncomfortable high heels over the flats because you knew that your legs looked amazing in the heels? Pedicure? Feels good but makes those toesies look pretty. Vanity. I know that it is a bit different from a medical procedure but an a smaller scale it is peacocking at its finest. And to be honest, I usually dress for the women anyway. Dave thinks I am pretty hot, but rarely digs my style. The women in the room are the ones that notice. Vanity. I own it.


~mavis

Amanda of Through the Looking Glass fame and who has contributed over here with this post and this post is a finalist in a spa contest. Go here and leave a comment on her post and it will give her a vote. Please. If you read through all the finalists, you will see she is clearly the winner.

speaking of peacocking - you'll be the prettiest with a Miss Ruby Sue adorning your person, remember to enter the giveaway! Or just go do something nice for someone anyway.

and head on over to christy's home at a lil' welsh rare bit, she has got a great giveaway